ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
