So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
