eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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