whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
