Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
