I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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