I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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