i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
