Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
