just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
handjob tips. give me some.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
