You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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