the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
