Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
