God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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