I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
