I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize