Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
