Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
