so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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