im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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