Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
