bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I have post one night stand depression
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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