she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
