Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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