I can't breathe out the right side of my face
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
