why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
