The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
