his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
