Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
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Im just a social blackout drinker.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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