I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize