if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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