I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
