i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
