hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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