this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
