I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
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I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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