I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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