i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Randomize
