White coat. Heels.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
