so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize