Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
