i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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