gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
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