all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
