isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
