He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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