I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
