YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
