I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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