chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Randomize
