just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
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you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
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Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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