I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
