I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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