found the other keg... it's in the tree
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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