I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize