I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
