oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
