Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I'm sobbing to NWA
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
