So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
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I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
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Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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