careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
