did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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