I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You did what with his pubic hair?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
