he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Randomize
