Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
