paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
