I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Randomize
